TVBite

	BBC1	BBC2	ITV1	Channel 4	Five
7.00pm	The ONE Show	Escape to the Country	Emmerdale	News	News
7.30pm	Inside Out		Corrie	3 Minute Wonder	Extraordinary Animals
8.00pm	Waterloo Road	It's Not Easy Being Green	The Bill	Relocation Relocation	Ice Road Truckers
8.30pm		Masterchef
9.00pm	The Secret Life of Elephants	The City Uncovered with Evan Davies	Taggart	Grand Designs	The Hard Corps
9.30pm
10.00pm	News	QI	News	The World's Cleverst Child And Me
10.30pm	(10.45) Match of the Day	Newsnight	(10.35) The South Bank Show Awards
11.00pm		(11.20) 1929: The Great Crash		(11.05pm) Shamless	(11.10pm) CCTV Cities

What To Watch

Grand Designs, C4, 9pm

Ah, good old comfortingly smug Kevin. He's back with the Club International of the property p*rn market. Actually, that's perhaps a tad unfair on Grand Designs, which has some genuinely interesting ideas - for instance the glass house in Doncaster and the wood house in the New Forest. This series begins with Dean and Sarah Berry who want to rebuild an 18th Century folly in Wales. They've already spent three years getting planning permission, so can't imagine any kind of delays on the actual build...

The World's Cleverest Child And Me, C4, 10pm

What every single person really wants to know about a child prodigy: 'Are his parents horribly pushy?' Who really gives a sh*t about how many decimal places he can recite pi to? The feats of intelligence are merely circus sideshows to the actual ability of the kid. We want to know how his parents have screwed him up so he has to retreat into statistics/chess/shootings. But what's the one question Mark Dolan doesn't ask? That's right: 'What part of your upbringing made you into a freak?'. Also, 10-year-old novelist Adora may well have written 400 short stories, but really, who wants to read them? That's the equivalent of being a prolific bedwetter.

Classic Albums, Sky Arts1, 10.30pm

There's no point in asking you'll get no reply. But that doesn't stop John Lydon and the rest of the Sex Pistols getting together and finally analysing the success of Never Mind The B***ocks. It's all down to the wit of the chairman, whether it be Simon Amstell or Mark Lamarr. Really, the fact that it's a heavy metal album with a slightly poncy attitude doesn't stop it being an earth shattering record. And this is a brilliant look back at the record, Steve Jones's riffs play an important part but the band are united over one fact and one fact alone: Malcolm McClaren was a total git. And who can argue with that?

What To Eat
Turkey with Tarragon and Penne
With the help of Kevin McCloud 150g Penne Pasta 2tbsp Olive Oil 200g Turkey Breast, diced 1 Small Red Onion, Sliced 1 Clove Garlic, Crushed 100g Cr�me Fra�che Handful Fresh Tarragon, chopped 1 Lemon, zested and juiced So these are your ingredients? Hmmm. Cook the pasta according to the instructions on the packet in plenty of boiling well salted water. Heat the oil in a frying pan and add the turkey. Colour on all sides and then add the onion and garlic. Continue to fry for 2-3 minutes more. Are you sure that you have the timings correct? When I look at this project I wonder if you may have relied on too much going to plan at all times. Add the cr�me fra�che, tarragon, lemon juice and zest. Simmer gently until the turkey is cooked through and the pasta is ready. It will probably be ready six months after you envisaged but I'll only mention that on the voiceover. Once the pasta is cooked drain well and stir through the sauce. Adjust the seasoning and serve in warm bowls. When I first looked at this recipe I thought it could never come together quite right. But now when I look at these warm bowls YOUR NAME has come up with something so full of light and yet so personal, I can't help but warm to it. Drink: Rawnsley Chardonnay, half price at Tesco this week for just �4.99

Bonus Bite
tvHate
Stephen Fry If ever there was an advert for abstinence, Stephen Fry is one. Back in the days when he refused to go near anyone else�s "squidgy bits" (as he would doubtless refer to them), his vaguely sixth-form verbal pyrotechnics were at least lit up by fiery vitriol. But since he started letting people interfere with his dangling participles, he�s softened. And not just because he�s gained about 20 stone. No, he�s become an insufferably sentimental bore. What�s worse, he�s gone and set himself up as a latter-day Michael Palin, making programmes like Fry's Turkish Delight, in which he carts his ample frame around Anatolia simpering at various Ordinary People, or Last Chance to See, where he seeks out various endangered species largely as an excuse to say the word "fluffy" in rich and mellifluous tones. He�s all right on QI, I suppose, though the air of smugness does rather waft from his seat. If Mr Fry's Significant Other happens to read this: please, please withdraw your services.

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