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Thursday: Disappointing comedy special! BBC3 IS involved (10/09/2009) After yesterday's packed day of television, we're afraid there's a bit of a comedown. The bad news: BBC3 have commissioned new sitcoms. And they've been watching The Inbetweeners. There's other stuff though.

What To Watch Off The Hook, BBC3, 8pm See The Inbetweeners? BBC3 certainly did. James Buckley, who was the brilliantly vile Jay in that series, plays one of a group of students in their first year at university, and he is far from the only debt this new sitcom owes to that programme. Off The Hook was initially some sort of online youth web TV thing, which obviously sounds ghastly, but the BBC are naturally jolly pleased with themselves for this sort of inclusive, participatory, cross-platform bullsh1t. Whatever. Surely the only two questions you need for a sitcom are "Is it well-written?" and "Is it well-acted?" The answers are "Not really" and "Quite well", but tvBIte will give it a go out of love for the Bus W@nker.   Lunch Monkeys, BBC3, 10.30pm Oh yeah, we remember the pilot of this: a sitcom about five young loafers who work in an ambulance-chasing law firm in Manchester. Its tone is like The Office as played by the Two Pints Of Lager Repertory Company. And guess what? It's yet another multimedia extravaganza Seriously, what was wrong with just making a TV programme and having people watch it? Why do we have to have a website, hmm? Imagine how much it must have cost to build all that. Moan, moan licence fee, etc.   Alone In The Wild, C4, 9pm Ed Wardle (good, honest name) goes all Mearsy/Gryllsy by trying to survive months on his own in Canada with basic provisions. Mental disintegration ensues. Good stuff. Also... Mediocre comedy launch: Katy Brand's Big Ass Show, ITV2, 10pm, The Frankie Boyle show, BBC2, 10pm. tvBite's favourite person of the last week was Kate Humble. She's great on The Frankincense Trail, BBC2, 8pm.

What To Eat Lamb Burgers with spicy chutney 500g lamb mince 1 red chili 1/2 handful mint chopped fine Same amount of chopped coriander 2 tbsp lemon juice 1 clove garlic 1 tsp cayenne pepper 1 tsp ground cumin 2 pitta breads Lettuce leaves Chop garlic and chili finely. Mix in with cayenne pepper, coriander and cumin and lemon juice. When finished, spread the chutney inside the pitta breads. Form the lamb and mint into four patties. Then fry on each side for about 6 minutes in total. Place inside the pitta pockets, while singing "you've gotta pitta pocket or two". New wine offers from Majestic. Give them a go. Go on. It's easier, better and cheaper than Threshers:Click here for Majestic's top ten offers...

Bonus Bite TV Stars We Have Known Dear tvBite I have enjoyed your tales of looking stupid in front of celebrities and feel obliged to contribute (TAKE HEED, THE REST OF YOU- ED). I'm not a journalist, but had a brief spell as a runner in TV working on Top Of The Pops (Reggie Yates was lovely, everyone else was a total spamfilter). After six weeks, I was given the (still unpaid) job of escorting the stars and their entourages to their dressing rooms. Unfortunately, I wasn't that au fait with the modern music world. In fact, I didn't know anything about it; I studied Classics at university and I conform to that stereotype. The second week of my new duties, I was told to escort Kelly Rowland to her dressing room. I was aware she was a member of a big girl group - someone of the order of Bananarama, Eternal or En Vogue. I arrived at reception and found a woman who was in the midst of what looked like an entourage. "Kelly?" I trilled with my best PR voice. "Yeah," she said. "Follow me," I beamed. We trooped through the studio to a dressing room, where I deposited her, then told my boss and got on with flirting with a set designer. He was very nice later when he sacked me for delivering a school tour group to Destiny's Child's dressing room. "I mean," he said. "You probably should have known that they weren't blonde." Maeve Williams Ace. Anything to match that? editor'atsign'tvbite.com. Didn't think so. After all, if you lot had any class, you'd have bought this

BBC1 BBC2 ITV Channel 4 Five 7.00pm The One Show Dragons' Den Emmerdale News Apes 7.30pm Enders   Countrywise   Inferno 999 8.00pm Watchdog The Frankincense Trail Emmerdale How Clean Is Your House? Megastructures 8.30pm     Corrie Dolce Vito   9.00pm New Tricks The Love Of Money The Bill Alone In The Wild You're Nicked 9.30pm           10.00pm News Mock The Week News (10.05pm) Without A Trace Film: Robocop 2 10.30pm (10.35pm) Being Human Newsnight (10.35pm) Billy Connolly: Journey to The Edge Of The World     11.00pm   (11.20pm) The Wire   (11.05pm) Grizzly Man

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