BBC1 BBC2 ITV1 Channel 4 Five
7.00pm The One Show How The Celts Saved Britain Emmerdale Farm News News
7.30pm Enders   Countrywise   (7.15pm) Ashes
8.00pm Celebrity MASTERCHEF! The RHS Hampton Court Flower Show The Bill The Home Show The Real Goldfinger Revealed
8.30pm          
9.00pm Torchwood Mock The Week Trial And Retribution Gerry's Big Decision The Mentalist
9.30pm   That Mitchell And Webb Disappointment      
10.00pm News Psychoville News Big Brother Law & Order: SVU
10.30pm (10.35pm) Question Tim Newsnight (10.35pm) Cops With Cameras    
11.00pm   (11.20pm) Golf: Scottish Open   (11.10pm) TNT Show Law & Order: Criminal Intent
What To Watch
The Naked Office, Virgin1, 9pm
Up to Newcastle for a documentary about a collection of total idiots an advertising agency that is in serious danger of going down the tubes. Part of the problem, we fear, may be the boss, a Brentian figure called Michael Owen (not that one). The solution? Hire in David Taylor, a man described as "Britain's leading big business psychologist". His remedy? Is it to address the problem of having a business that turns over just a million quid but employs fully 20 people? No. It's to get people to come into work naked. Right. This fosters trust, or breaks down barriers, or something. David is freaking us out, big style, and this is highly entertaining, cringe-tastic TV of peerless stupidity.

Mock The Week, BBC2, 9pm
The funniest thing that's ever resulted from this show is definitely this. The repetition is absolutely hilarious. She's shouting at him by the end, and he's her boss. Anyway, this week will see Frankie Boyle try to make the sickest joke about Jacko, Hugh Dennis doing a rubbish impression, Russel Howard letting himself down by gooning and Andy Parsons delivering lines in a really irritating "de-de-DEE, de-de-dur" fashion. Of the guests, Frank Skinner will be laconic and Gina 'Did I mention that my parents are Nigerian?' Yashere will be practically edited out. Really, it's not awful. But Duck! Rabbit! Duck! is much funnier and it's 60years old.



Jimi Hendrix Night, Sky Arts1, 9pm
39 years since Jimi checked out (how DID we get so old?) Here's a chance to see him live, playing Berkeley. It's a phenomenal concert that seems ridiculously modern. It's easy to forget what a really remarkable sight he must have been in full flow. Not just the guitar but the voice, too. The live show is followed up by a nice Classic Albums, 10pm about Electric Ladyland, which has just the right amount of expert and there-at-the-time talking heads. If that doesn't cheer you up, you probably don't much like Jimi Hendrix, or indeed rock and roll. If you do, check out this most enjoyable site about classic rock.

What To Eat
Lamb and Tzatziki Pittas
300g Lamb Neck Fillet, cubed
40ml Olive Oil
20ml White Wine Vinegar
1 Lemon, zested and juiced
Thyme Leaves
2 Pitta Breads
150g Greek Yoghurt
10cm Cucumber, deseeded and cubed
Mint leaves, roughly chopped
1 Clove Garlic, crushed
Handful Lambs lettuce
6 Baby Plum Tomatoes, halved

If using wooden skewers cover them with water to allow them to soak.

Preheat a grill to medium.

Mix the lamb, olive oil, vinegar, lemon zest and thyme together. Allow to marinade for 10minutes.

Meanwhile make the tzatziki. Mix the yoghurt, garlic, cucumber and mint. Season with salt, pepper and the lemon juice to taste.

Thread the lamb onto skewers. Place under the grill and turn every couple of minutes until evenly browned but still slightly pink inside. Remove from under the grill and allow to rest.

Warm the pitta breads, split and add the lettuce and tomatoes. Add the lamb and finish with a couple of spoons of the tzatziki.


Bonus Bite
Very Minor TV Stars' lads that we have seen
Part I of an occasional series

The Very Minor TV Star: Matt Berry

What Is He Known For? The IT Crowd, Garth Marenghi's Dark Place

Lad sighted in: the gentleman's toilets at The Oval

Description of the lad: not unimpressive

Any other distinguishing remarks: Although Berry's lad was, as described above, not unimpressive, the star's urinal selection left much to be desired. Despite having fully two dozen unoccupied, pristine urinals to choose from, Berry - for reasons best known to himself - chose the one that was already all-but overflowing with wee.

As the Mighty Boosh funnyman filled up the urinal, he began to panic, fearing that it was about to cascade over his rather nasty shoes. Backing away from the urinal as a bulwark against splashback, but all the while obliged to continue micturating, Berry found himself caught between a rock and a damp, smelly place, leading to an undignified sort of bottom-thrust-out mambo type dance. The effect was immeasurably improved by the fact that Berry was still gamely clutching his pint.

tvBite could bear to watch for no more than several moments, and left. Apres moi, le deluge? We may never know.

Have you seen a TV star's lad? Or, if a lady TV star, her bajingo? Let us know who, where, when, how, why and whether or not you were arrested at editor@tvbite.com
 
Recommend tvBite to a friend.